JGDThinkTank

Dr. AHMED MOMOH contacts Tek-M-Ology

Dr.AHMED MOMOH
NO 37,NNPC TOWERS IKOYI LAGOS,
LAGOS-NIGERIA.

ATTENTION:
I am the chairman of the contract awarding committee,federal ministry of petroleum resources, Nigeria I am in search of an agent to assist us in the transfer of (US$50.4m FIFTY POINT FOUR MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS ).
And subsequent investment in properties in your country.you will be requiredto:
(1) Assist in the transfer of the said sum
(2) Advise on lucrative areas for investment
(3) Assist us in purchase of properties.

If you decide to render your service to us in this regard, 20% of the total sum will be offerred to you.
Please reply as soon as possible.

Best Regards
Dr.AHMED MOMOH
Chairman Contract Awarding Committee {CCAC}

Yes, I am interested. Please send me the details AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!
Great Admirations
Mr. Dons Johnson, Esq.

Dear Mr. Dons Johnson, Esq.

Thank you for your interest in this mutual deal. This whole transaction is not expected to take more than 14 working days at the most if followed as expected.
As you may be aware of, me and my partners as public officers are prohibited by law not to own and operate foreign accounts since we are still in active public service, hence we have solicited for your assistance.
What you are expected to do in this partnership is to act as the beneficiary of the funds in question. We will provide all the neccessary covering documents to give this transaction the legal backing it deserves.
First and foremost, we are going to register a company in your name and have it backdated to suit the time of the original contract. Secondly we will have a certificate issued from the petroleum ministry to cover the contract. All these documents will be backdated as well.
With these steps taken carefully, we would proceed to file for claims at the Federal Ministry of Finance where the funds will is expected to be paid from. The contact information will be yours and so you will be the one to be contacted on this.
We are going to take care of the procurement of all the aforementioned certificates before the application. Once that is done, you will be expected to act as the true beneficiary of the funds. You must as a matter of importance act swiftly and proffesionally as soon as the Finance ministry reaches you. If they are not very sure of your claims they will not bother contacting you. Once you are contacted on this matter shows the authenticity of your claims.
You must know that at that juncture, we will have very little or nothing to do other than to advise you if need be. You will follow-up everything as directed by the ministry of finance without delay to avoid excuse from them to delay your payment. Under no circumstance must you make mention of my name in the course of this transaction to anyone.
For us to start the documentation proccess, the following information is required:-
Company name of your choice or we can use any.
Your address.
Phone and Fax numbers .Your mobile phone number is very neccessary because of time difference.
Please be rest assured that no one will come after you after the completion of this transaction. It is totally risk free, so there is nothing to fear. It happens in Nigeria always and the funds are never traced to anyone.
Finally, I want you to further assure me of your sincerity to remmit our share of the funds once it hits your account,as I am given the trust by my colleagues to ensure that I present a trustworthy person. We are also concerned about your ability to keep this very confidential.
Godbless you as I wait to hear from you soonest.My direct phone number is +234-805-447-6869 if you need to speak with me.

Ahmed Momoh.

Agmed Momoh,
This sounds very promising. Please explain how you will register a company now and then backdate all of the information to make it appear that the company has been in business for years. I Assume that if you go through the proper authoritarian channelz to regstrar a cumpany then the proper busness officials will be wise to the plan. And by that I mean they will recognize the discrepancy between the document that says that our nwe company was registered in 2005 and the falsified busniess memos we type up that say 1983. Other than that, it all sounds pretty well set. Please let me know what you need from me. Also, in exchange, as a token of good faith so that I am sure you are a trust worthy person, please send me the name of the company that you currently work for. A picture or weblink would be sufficient as well. Thanks and Very Best Regards to you, Ahmed Momoh, my dear and very closely associated confidant. Please reply as soon as possibly.
Sincerely Yours,
Dons Johnson, Esq.

Dons Johnson, Esq,

I recieved your message and the content well noted. I want to let you know that I have already fashioned out ways to achieve this goal long before I contacted you. I have seen it done before and I have aslo done it in the past, but for greed that came into the heart of my counterparts, I would have resigned from active service by now and be on my own doing what I know how to do best.

Here in my country, almost everything can be achieved as long as you have a good plan towards it and also the money to push around. Registring a company and having it backdated is no problem once we have the money to pay to those in charge of it. If we do not do it that way, then it will be difficult to file for claims because of time difference.

You should know that this transaction is mutual and we both must work towards its realisation. Trust,commitment and confidentiality is what is required to succeed in this venture.

What is required of you is to act as the beneficiary of the funds. All the relevant covering documents will be prepared legitimately despite the fact that it will be backdated, it still does not make it invalid. Once we have all the required covering documents, we will then go on to file for claims.

You should know that you will be the one to be corresponding with the paying ministry. That is the main reason we have contacted you to be in this partnership because we can not open and operate foreign accounts since we are still in service.

What is needed right now is

The company name of your choice
Your full contact address
Your phone and fax numbers including your cell phone because of time difference.

With the above mentioned information, we can start registeration process which is not expected to take more that 2-3 working days.Please respond as soon as possible to enable a quick start without delay.

Regards,

Momoh

Agmed Momah,

I must say, thus far it has been quite a pleasure doing you with
business. However, I must say that you still have yet to answer my
questions. The main one being this:

What exactly fashioned plans do you have? And by that I mean, can you
explain how they were fashioned. Personally I fashion many plans
although I sumtimes form them instead. I mean you know I taylor it to
the task at hand and if that means fashion then fashion I will but
like I said sometimes it's better to form but it snot like I have a
set plan or anything but at this point you've claimed that you do and
I would really love to hear about it since that's going to be pretty
important for our success (which I can only think of as INEVITABLE)
know what I mean?

With that said, I would like to offer you some kind of reassurance
since the tone of your previous message implied, in no uncertain
terms, that you think of me as completely incompetent. Rest assured,
Agmed, that I posses the necessary character straights to perform my
required function as the beneficiary of the sizable funds in
questions. So, how do you backdate documents legitimately? Can you
email me a copy of one for my own peace of mind? That would help,
since you seem to think of me as some kind inane pee stane. My full
contact information follows:

Tek-M-Ology 2012
283 North Clark Street
Suite 3B
Chicago, Illinois 60601

Please write back as soon as physically possible. I will be waiting
with baited breath. Also, please include what I need right now, and
also this:

The company name of your choice
Your full contact address
Your phone and fax numbers including your cell phone because of time difference.

Best Regards my Loyal Associate!

Dons Johnson, Esq.

How Your Mind Works

The JGDThinkTank hiatus has officially ended. That means that were are here again, at your service. And service you we will. See Below:

Dear JGDThinkTank,
lately i've been having some problems with stuff mostly because of my mind. i'm not real sure what to do about them so i'm writing to you now. i saw that wedding mix you did and then realized you were really trying to help when you offered assistance to mr. harrison bright. please help me like you helped him.
xoxox
sasha

Dear Sasha,

If you�ve ever felt there was something holding you back in life, ruining your plans and stopping you from being who you want to be, you were right.

The fact is, there is a single source of all your problems, stress, unhappiness and self-doubt. It�s called the reactive mind � the hidden part of your mind that stores all painful experiences and then uses them against you.

Dianetics gets rid of the reactive mind. It�s the only thing that does.

With over 20,000,000 copies in dozens of languages, Dianetics has remained a bestseller for more than fifty years. Now used in more than 150 nations, Dianetics brings dramatic and permanent improvement to people all over the world.

Read Dianetics and discover:

- The real reason for unexplained pains, negative emotions and unhappy relationships in your life
- Exactly what is destroying your belief in yourself and how Dianetics helps you get rid of it so you become more you
- The precise technology that blows away the barriers in your life - forever.

Don�t live with insecurity, negative thoughts and irrational behavior. Use Dianetics and get rid of your reactive mind.

Have you ever wondered how your mind works?

Your mind records pictures of everything you experience throughout life. These �mental image pictures� ARE your memory.

Through mental image pictures you can see the past, hear what was said, feel, taste and smell things from long ago or just from yesterday. Your perception of mental image pictures � however vague at first � can be sharpened with Dianetics.

Mental image pictures are used continually to solve problems, imagine and remember things. L. Ron Hubbard�s #1 New York Times bestseller, Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health, will tell you much more about mental image pictures, how the mind works and even the purpose of the mind.

Unfortunately, you have another mind, which has been called in the past the �unconscious� or �subconscious� mind. It is a mind which records and stores mental image pictures made during traumatic experiences.

This mind is more accurately called your reactive mind, since it reacts illogically and irrationally, giving you feelings you don�t understand and making you react in ways that are �not you.�

Irrationality comes from your reactive mind, acting upon you like post-hypnotic commands. It makes you say and do things you don�t understand. It is WHY you have inexplicable feelings, strange aches and pains, why you can�t be yourself.

You can learn how the reactive mind works and how to GET RID OF IT FOREVER by reading Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health. This is how Dianetics technology can help you become A WELL AND HAPPY HUMAN BEING, able to think rationally in all circumstances and go forward in life to achieve your goals for real.

You DO have a reactive mind and it IS the single SOURCE of your irrational fears, self-doubts, uncontrollable emotions and even your nightmares as a child.

The reactive mind is also the source of psychosomatic ills � which means illnesses which are caused by the mind. Experts estimate that psychosomatic illnesses account for up to 70 percent of man�s ills, including being too fat or too thin, migraines, allergies and other afflictions not strictly caused by physical reasons.

Feelings of unhappiness, uncontrollable emotions and the like are no more than the �memory� of past painful experience being replayed by your reactive mind.

Get rid of your reactive mind with Dianetics

Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health is an advance of such magnitude, the The New York Times compared it to man�s discovery of fire and the wheel.

image
Dianetics contains a revolutionary easy-to-apply technique by which any two reasonably intelligent people can GET RID of their reactive mind (the �invisible� storehouse of recorded painful experiences which react on you like post-hypnotic commands). The end result of Dianetics is a well and happy human being.

When one has exhausted their reactive mind in its entirety, one attains a new state of being called CLEAR. A Clear has erased all detrimental recordings of pain in the reactive mind, and so can live a happier, healthier life. Clears have fantastically increased abilities, and experience such results as higher IQ, faster reaction time, creative imagination, amazing vitality, deep relaxation, good memory, strong will power, magnetic personality and good self-control. Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health gives a full description of this state and how you can reach it.

Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health has been 100 weeks on The New York Times bestseller list, and there are more than 20 million copies in circulation, in 53 languages and more than 150 nations. And today, in addition to the book, there is a DVD (or video) which shows how Dianetics works, plus a series of lectures and a live demonstration from L. Ron Hubbard on CD, and a home study course that can be done on-line to get you started on the road to Clear. The course also gives you unlimited free access to professionally trained Dianetics consultants who will answer your questions on-line.

Dianetics technology�s users feel very strongly about its value. When asked to rate Dianetics in a recent survey, about half called it �one of the most valuable products on Earth,� while slightly more felt it was �the most valuable product in existence.� 91% said Dianetics gave them �a happier, healthier life� and 100% said Dianetics works.

It has worked for millions, and it can work for you.

Good luck Sasha!

Blogs helping Blogs or How a ThinkTank Counsels a Doctor

Dear JGDThinkTank
I have been a huge fan of you guys from the beginning. Your minds are so powerful like a weapon. But we need some advice. My colleagues and I have this Blog together, called Dr. Doolittle's room. It is a Blog designed to really inspire people to fulfill their life dream and we make a point to really tackle some of today's toughest issues, like inertia. But we don't seem to be getting much response from people - the blog isn't working to inspire people to fulfill their life dream.

So we have pooled our money together and have decided to buy some Billboards in Chattanooga, especially around the Hamilton Place Mall. (We think that would be a good way of getting the word out about Dr. Doolittle's room - and we figure lots of kids out by the mall could use some inspiration - because kids who hang out at the mall are losers and a lot of times obese, but the hip down town kids might like Doolittle's room too.)
The rumor is that one of you guys knows a lot about business stuff and has a fancy degree. I also heard that another one of you lives in a big city and takes snap shots of candles and people holding candles - artsy stuff. Is this true? (I don't know how many other people think in your tank)
I thought we could get your professional business advice on some of our Billboard ideas and you could tell us if any of them might be effective to get people to go to Dr. Doolittle's room.
Billboard #1
A Picture of a bunch of hot girls doing Yoga in a room - eyes closed. In big words it says:
"Get off your butt - go to Dr. Doolittle�s room" - and web address at bottom
Billboard #2
A Picture of a huge trophy (with soccer player on top) - Big words say:
"Dr. Doolittle�s Room - unanimously voted number one Blog on Chattablogs"
- this is a lie, but I think it would be very compelling
Billboard #3
No picture, just a flower pattern with stars everywhere. Big words say:
Learn how to build a time machine at Dr. Doolittle�s room.
- this is metaphorically speaking of course.
So what do you think? Would these get people to go to our website? Maybe you guys could come up with something better for us with your thinking.
Are billboards a good idea? Should we do commercials? Do you know how much advertising in Chattanooga costs? And lastly, can we charge people to look at our Blog?
Thanks so much. We look forward to your advice.
Sincerely
The Dr. Doolittle's Room Staff
Doolittlesroom.chattablogs.com

p.s. By reading this e-mail you hereby give Dr. Doolittle's Room the rights to publish any response you may have.

Dear Dr. Doolittle Room Staff,
I like idea number 2 and 3. I would include a little boy in a soccer uniform that's about 3 sizes too big holding the trophy in the 2nd idea. As far as advertising methods, Billboards would be OK, but I wouldn't really waste my money on too many commercials. In fact, I think gorilla marketing tactics would work best for promoting a website. Take out an ad on all of the local online papers/magazines and hand out fliers at Hipster hangouts. As far as charging to access your blog, it would be more difficult since your blog is through Chattablogs, however having people pay to access a site isn't a new concept and has actually done alright (ex. David Bowie's website). I would look into having your site hosted elsewhere and hire a web programmer to set up a subscription service. And I would try to increase the amount of content available each day. I hope we answered your questions to your liking. Once again sorry about the wait, we hope that this does not deter you from coming to us again with your issues. Good luck with your future business endeavors.

Mr. Jonny Pantz
Executive Vice President of Communications
JGDThinkTank

The Culinary Arts

You have just managed to offer me exactly what I am looking for in way of advice and criticism. I am in the midst of career evaluation that has involved giving notice at my job (I'm leaving at the end of July) and exploration of the possibility of a career in the culinary arts. Cooking expertise in my city can be gained through getting a $40k degree in the Applied Sciences (a 15 month commitment) in either the broad Culinary Arts or specifically in Baking and Pasterie Making. (Check out the kind of programs I am talking about at chic.edu). My research thus far has led me to the following questions - since I know that I don't actually want to use the degree to be a head chef (I am thinking more along the lines of food journalism, followed in the 10 year plan by restaurant ownership) how necessary/cost effective is it? Would I be better served to work in the industry for 15 months? What kind of other programs might I consider? What qualifications do the top food writers in the country usually have? What were their career paths? If you need more specific information to conduct research and help me craft a business plan, or if you want to see what I've got so far...email me or something. Thanks JGD thinktank, I love the concept of this site.

Mizzah

Mizzah, we�re glad that you like our site and services. Unfortunately, you picked a field that JGDThinkTank is not too familiar with, so this is just a preliminary solution. We will do some more research if you need it. It is our opinion that it would be a wise investment to get the degree, but since you don�t want to use it to be a head chef, you should go with the more broad Culinary Arts degree. This way you have a broad understanding that will be helpful in food journalism as well as being a restaurant owner down the road. But I would suggest trying to get some practical experience while going through the program. Using the 15 months you�re taking classes to work even as a waitress in a nice restaurant would be helpful we believe. We don�t think it�s necessary to pick one or the other, you can do both. We don�t know much about the top food writers, that�s something we�ll have to research further. We hope this has been helpful. Feel free to email us or leave a comment if you need more information or have any further questions. Once again, thank you for choosing JGDThinkTank, and we wish you the best with your future career in the Culinary Arts.

Mr. Jonny Pantz
Executive Vice President of Communications
JGDThinkTank

New Service

So sorry the lack of new stuff on the blog, the last couple of months have been a little crazy. However, I'm taking a break to inform you of a new service JGDThinkTank is providing. As you know, JGDThinkTank is your own personal think tank. You have a problem; we'll think for you and offer a solution.

But now, JGDThinkTank can be your own personal critic. You heard me right, your Own Personal Critic. Do you have an idea for a new invention, but would like a new set of eyes to critique it? Do you have a business plan, but not sure you've covered all your bases? Do people tell you that you have very creative ideas, but lack being practical? Well we can help. Just send your idea to JGDThinkTank and we'll critique it and give you feedback. If your idea gets picked up, we ask that you cut us in on a nominal percentage.

JGDThinkTank, Your Source for Great Ideas

Mr. Jonny Pantz
Executive Vice President of Communications
JGDThinkTank

Slow Spot

JGDThinkTank has been twiddling its thumbs waiting for some new problems to solve. In case this is your first time coming to the site, we at JGDThinkTank are a free solutions provider. No problem is too big for us to handle. Please email any inquiries to JGDTHINKTANK@GMAIL.COM, and we will be sure to get back to you in a timely fashion.

JGDThinkTank WE THINK SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO

MR.HARRISON BRIGHT

Greetings to you,

This letter must come to you as a big surprise, but I believe it is only a day that people meet and become great friends and business partners My name is MR.HARRISON BRIGHT.the present branch Manager of a bank here in Benin Republic West Africa.

I write you this proposal in good faith, believing that I can trust you with the information I am about to reveal to you. Like I said, I have a transaction that will benefit both of us, as your assistance is required as a foreigner.

I use to head the Accounts department in my bank head office, but last December I was asked to take position of a Manager of our branch in Cotonou who passed on, so that was how I became the present Manager and discovered a fortune.

As I resumed duty, I discovered an account with total sum of $10.5 million that has not been operated on for the past 4 years. From my investigation, I found out that this account belongs to one Late Mr. Ziya Bazhayev a Russian big time Oil dealer, who unfortunately lost his life in the Yak-40 jetliner on March 9, 2000. You will read more news about the crash on visiting these site;

I have kept a close monitoring of the account since then and nobody has come forward to claim the money as next of kin to the late Mr. Ziya Bazhayev meaning that no one is aware of the account.

I cannot directly take out this money without the help of a foreigner and that is why I am contacting you for an assistance to claim the funds and share it with me. As the Manager of my bank branch, I have the power to
influence the release of the funds to any foreigner that comes up as the next of kin to the account, with the correct information concerning the account, which I shall give you.

I am seeking your co-operation to present you as the next of kin to the account. There is practically no risk involved, the transaction will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of law.

If you accept to work with me, I want you to state how you wish us to share the funds in percentage, so that both parties will be satisfied. Contact me as soon as you receive this message if you feel we can work together, so as to give you more details. Thanking you in advance and may God bless you. Please, treat with utmost confidentiality. I wait your urgent response.

Regards,

MR.HARRISON BRIGHT.

Note:for further information concerning this deal contact me through this email address: (harrisonbright@mail.com)

13 April 2005

Tek-M-Ology 2012
283 North Clark Street
Suite 3B
Chicago, Illinois 60601

Greetings MR. HARRISON BRIGHT,

Let me first express my sincerest apologies for the death of Mr. Ziya Bazhayev, your Former Russian big time Oil custumer.

My name is Dix Johnson and I head up a Tek firm in Chicago, Illinois. I must say, your letter could not have come at a better time. This appears, to me anyway (a very spiritual man), to be nothing short of blessing from some kind of higher power. Let me explain:

As I said, I head up a Tek firm in Chicago, Illinois. Until last year, business was swell, and our capital was bulging like my netherage at a Christina Aguilera concert. Recently, however, business has slowed to a near stand-still, leaving our market share dwindling and profits plummeting. Apparently, as a dotcommer, I failed to realize that such a business model would inevitably over extend itself, leading to nothing more than a living dead (see: Zombies). That, in addition to my gambling problem, has led to what we in the business world refer to as "a bit of a deficit."

As I am sure you can imagine, I am willing to do Anything (wink) to save my business. Believe me MR. HARRISON BRIGHT when I say that I started this company with blood, sweat, and tears and I'll be damned before I allow a fledgling market place to run it into the ground! And that is where you come in, my good friend and loyal confidant. I posses all of the necessary traits listed in your message, making me a perfect candidate to receive a portion of the late Mr. Ziya Bazhayev's wealth. I'm a ready, willing, and able foreignicator in desperate need of positive cash-flow. In short, I accept your proposition.

I have gleaned from your message that you are quite a trustworthy person and I understand that your intentions are completely honorable. Considering the strength of your character and your unwavering generosity, I would be happy to settle for a mere 50% of the late big time Oil Baron's lasting wealth. Please let me know if this is adequate. From here, I await your response and further instructions.

Best Wishes and Regards,

Dix Johnson, Esq.
Executive, Tek-M-Ology 2012

Job Inquiry

Frickin' A. I guess you could say you're think tank just totally blew
my mind away with it's thought missiles. I mean, I thought think tanks
were like urban legends and crap. But you guys are totally for real and
using your mind power for good. Sweet. Double sweet! Is it hard to
think for so long and smartly? I don't know how you do it. Now that I
know about you guys, I am totally going to get you to help solve all my
tough life problems. Here's my situation:

I work at a factory installing electric window switches in car doors.
The pay is alright but it leaves me feeling exhausted and empty inside.
I want to do more with my life, but don't have a college degree. I
don't know really what I want to do in life - but I hate working on the
line. My step uncle once told me that to figure out what job you would
truly love in life, you have to ask yourself the question, "What would
you do if you had 20 million dollars?" So I have been thinking about
it, and what I would do if I had 20 million dollars is play paint ball
all the time � I love paint ball. The problem is, I can't find a job
where I get payed to play paint ball. Is my step uncle an idiot or is
there a job out there for me where I can do what I love?
Can you help me?

You guys are the bomb. Go think Tank!

sincerely,

David Jon Smalls

Dear David Jon Smalls,

You shouldn't listen to your step-uncle. Guys like that are a dime a
baker's dozen (that's 13 instead of 12). And by that I mean, there are
a lot of people like that for cheap. Just ask yourself, what has he
ever done in his life? The answer will inevitably be "nothing" unless
he happens to be some kind of humanitarian that has helped lots of
people or else one of the many people who has done a great things like
built plains (yes, "plains") or solve poverity and food problems and
he could be Tony Robbins but I doubt it. But the point is, there's
something wrong with you if you like paintball so much and you should
join the army. Just hold on to that factory job and think about all
the people that youse your products or all the people they help (ie.
like, say, someone was had a disability and kan't operait manual windo
switches but need the windows down). Then think of all those illegal
aleians out there who would simplee killl to bee in your shews! Think
of what they would do for your job. And if you're still empty inside,
try being gay, or else start a hobby. That will surely fill you up!

Regards!
G$
Executive Vice President of Enlightenment

Wedding Bells

Dear Mr. Tank:

I do not want a lame wedding reception. What songs can I play that people would want to dance to?

Side hugs and cheeck kisses,
Bride

Dear Bride,
My partners and I have deliberated and have come up with, what we think, is the quintessential wedding mix. To give credit where credit is due, I'll split up the choices based on the JGDThinkTank partner who developed them.
Super D's Most Awesome Wedding Songs Mix
Get Your Boogie On - Young MC
Naked and Famous - Presidents of th USA
Body Movin - Beastie Boys
Full of Fire - Al Green
Bombs over Bagdad - Outkast
Get Your Hands Off my Woman - The Darkness
Mr. Roboto - Styx
Prison Song - System of a down
Say it Ain't So - Weezer
Has Been - Bill Shatner
G$'s Mix
Snare -- Ruins
In the Bosom of Uncle -- Sun City Girls
Cat Scratch Fever + Wang Dang Sweet Poontang + Yank Me, Crank Me -- Ted Nugent
Raw Power -- Dim Sum Clip Job
Tuning Notes -- Thinking Fellers Union Local #282
Vapors -- Eyvind Kang
At a Crawl -- Melvins
Squeeze Me Macaroni -- Mr. Bungle
Leng Tch'e -- Naked City
Mr. Jonny Pantz's Kick Ass Wedding Mix
I Just Wanna Love U (Give It To Me) - Jay-Z ft. Pharrell
Can't Get You Out of My Head - Kylie Minogue
Book of the Month - Lovage
Retrovertigo - Mr. Bungle
It's Only Divine Right - The New Pornographers
It's A Wonderful Life - Sparklehorse
Girlfriend is Better + Take Me to the River + This Must Be the Place(Naive Melody) - Talking Heads
Black Tambourine + Scarecrow + Readymade + Hotwax - Beck
Girls and Boys - Blur
Love You More - Cloroform
John, I'm Only Dancing - David Bowie
She Loves Me Not + Easy Like Sunday Morning - Faith No More
I Get A Kick Out of You + My Funny Valentine - Frank Sinatra
Tired of Being Alone + I'm Still In Love With You + Here I Am + Love and Happiness + the rest of Al Green's Greatest Hits Album - Al Green

Between these three lists, it is guaranteed that you will having a rockin' wedding reception. Also at this time, we would like to mention that JGDThinkTank actually has another service, Wedding DJs. If you can provide the PA system, and don't expect us to play the Chicken Dance or Electric Slide, JGDThinkTank will put on the greatest wedding reception ever. Well at least until our next one. Hope you found this solution useful and good luck with this major step into the rest of your life.

Sincerely,
Mr. Jonny Pantz
Executive Vice President of Communication

Resume and Bike Work

I was wondering if you might know of any places that I could look
through for help on creating a resume.

Also, where is a good place to take my bike to get it fixed?

Miss so-and-so

Dear Miss So-and-so,
We have dilberated and have come to a conclusion for you dilema. For your resume needs, we suggest going to the Career Center at your local university. These people are there to help you with this very thing. However, if you don't the people at your own university, these websites should be able to help you along your way.
10 Minute Resume
ResumeTutor!

As far as getting your bike fixed, Daniel and I recommend MOAB, just off the Square next to the chicken place on Maple and Lytle. These people do fine work.

Sincerely,
Mr. Jonny Pantz
Executive Vice President of Communication

Chronic Cough

Dear JGDThinkTank,
I got sick a month or so ago. Ever since then I've had this chronic
cough. I'm a musician and this gets annoying. It happens mostly when I
try to sing (which uses a lot of air) or late in the evening when I'm
winding down for bed. I'm not really coughing anything up, but
sometimes I do. I thought about asking a doctor, but then I heard
about you.

What should I do to alleviate this?
The Gort

Dear the Gort,
We are ready to share our solution for you. Since we were unable to
give you a full physical examination, we were only able to narrow it
down to a few diseases. We have all agreed that your coughing may be
a symptom of either Avian Bird Flu, SARS, Tuberulosis, and early
stages of Lung Cancer. However, there is a bit of disagreement
between Gid and Daniel. Gid thinks that it might be a symptom of
syphilis, while Daniel is partial to herpes of the throat. However,
it is certain that our solution will work for any of these diseases,
except lung cancer, which means you'll need chemo along with our
solution. We prescribe two shots of brandy, preferably Apricot
Brandy, in the morning and three shots at night of Cherry Brandy,
until cough ceases for four days. We also prescribe refraining from
masturbation, since chronic masturbation can cause dehydration which
will only aggravate your condition. We hope that you find this
solution helpful and once again thank you for coming to JGDThinkTank
with your problem. He love helping people and we hope it shows.

Sincerely,
Mr. Jonny Pantz
Executive Vice President of Communication

Free Stuff

Dear JGDThinkTank,
I need a way to get free stuff without stealing, particularly wood and wire.
Any ideas?
Corey Boyd

Dear Mr. Boyd,

Thank you for your inquiry in regard to where you can find free stuff.
I thought about it a lot and drove around some today, and I found some
things you might be interested in. Although I have not been able to
think of where you might obtain free wire, I did find a whole maple
tree (I think) that has been cut up in big chunks. The diameter is
approximately 28 inches. The widths measure anywhere from 8 inches to
2 feet. The tree is located on Barfield Crescent Drive. I stopped and
asked the lady who owned the tree if I could take some, and she said
that I could take any of the big pieces which was what I wanted. I
have some samples if you would like to inspect them, and I would be
happy to go with you to pick up more if you would like that.

Thanks again for your inquiry and please don't hesitate to ask us
anything and everything you want to know because here at JGDThinkTank,
we have made it our mission to use our brains to think real hard to
answer your questions and think up really cool things. We hope to hear
again from you soon. Spread the word about how awesome we are.

Sincerely,

Super D
Executive Vice President of Thinking
JGDThinkTank